Fall is here!

Get your honey and start planning those movie nights. Snuggle under a blanket or get his/her matching snuggies! Drink cups of hot cocoa topped with marshmallows or whipped cream!. I'm totally ready for a change of weather. The leaves turn beautiful shades of browns, yellows and gold. Walks in the park just became so much easier. Especially for those times when you just stop to embrace each other.

Fall temperatures are not too hot and not too cold. It is a reminder that Winter is coming!

IS THIS YOU TOO?

I’d be the first to admit that I’m afraid to fall in love. I’ve been there and I’m so thankful to have been loved and felt loved. I have up a thick ass wall that NO ONE can tear down but myself. Well I’m afraid so what do you actually expect? I try not to get to intimate with guys because I refuse to set myself up for emotional failure. I’ve realized that intimacy controls it all! Intimacy creates a bond between two people. That bond then becomes an emotional attachment. If there is no intimacy then I’ll never get attached. This works out so much better for me. No one has to like it but its really my choice. Most likely I’ll never get married (which is probably the reason I prefer to plan weddings). I like to be as realistic as possible with myself. I don’t have expectation of guys because that’s when people start to let you down. When your vision is blurred by love you tend to have unrealistic expectations of love and your partner. I have yet to understand why this happens but it happens EVERYDAY! Lack of communication can send your relationship issues OVERBOARD!

But who am I kidding? I can create a huge wall and pretend I’m the toughest person around. That doesn’t mean someone won’t come along and this imaginary wall (that I led myself to believe in) will have been long forgotten. Truth is I’m no different from everyone else that wants love and to feel loved. I have not given up on love and you shouldn’t either. This can be such a trial and error situation… Learn from your past mistakes. Makes change the necessary … whether is about you, your expectations or the characteristic you are looking for in a mate. Don’t be afraid to love. Try to open your heart to new possibilities. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on what can be the best thing ever.

Healing time

You need it! Just like any physical wound, you must give it time to heal. So what happens during this healing time? Everything! You love learn to love yourself more. Think about how you’ve changed in your past relationship. Just face it… we all change a little bit. Even if we don’t notice. Yourself time to heal. Don’t rush in to another relationship if you have not healed form the past. Its best to give yourself time to reprioritize, gather your goals you may forgotten about and get back on track with life as you know it. Keep friends and family around. Go out and have fun!

a title or his time

This question pops up often. I still have yet to figure out why so many things go wrong when a woman wants that title. (Babe, Boo thang, Girlfriend, Wifey) The deal is that we are so blinded because we want a title. What does the title really mean? What does it mean to you?

I have a number 1 guy in my life. He is not my boyfriend, but a man that I would do anything for. The time we spend together is more important than how much time we spent together. When I realized that I loved this man, it drove me crazy. (We women go crazy on the wrong things!). I wanted to let him know how I felt. Then I was hoping that he is feeling the same. Maybe we could get together or get serious. Then I thought we are both in different places in our lives. His friendship means more to me than anything else. I don’t need a title. So, why I am going crazy again?

Here is the deal. I thought back on the time shared, endless conversation, all the laughter, intimate moments (not sex YOU PERVS!) and then of course I smiled. So then I realized that made me happy. What we have is good enough for me right now. Yes, I have questioned his feelings before. (Something else to drive a woman crazy) Looking back I realized that it's not necessary. Actions speak louder than words. Going back, I thought about his actions, I realized that he honestly loves/ cares for me. Of course he knows how I feel about him. (Knowing me... how could he not know?) WOMEN!

So here I go... why do I need a title? I don't. For some reason a title tends to add more pressure than necessary. I know we all want to be loved or maybe you just want to be "in the know". Maybe you are fooled by the people who pretend to be happy and post pictures all over MySpace, Facebook, Twitter. LOL. (Who doesn’t want the world to know they are happy, RIGHT?) When it is truly love... you will just know. You know when the other person is special. If your connection with a person isn't that strong or maybe you're just blinded by your friend asking when will it become "OFFICIAL" (Note to self: some friends are so miserable that question you to prove they are better. NOT YOUR FRIENDS) you just might be his #1 girl and your friends should not worry about it if you are happy. So, this guy & I are not in a place where we are ready for a relationship. Don't get me wrong I love him and would probably say yes if he proposed RIGHT NOW. Not the plan though. I love and respect him enough to accept his choices in life. The deal is love takes time and there are other things I need to focus on. I just need his love and support and in return he will get mine.

To my Ladies who are searching for a title. Go back to the time shared not the amount of time spent. Make sure the guy you with isn't just a sex partner that you occasionally go out with. (Lust can definitely cloud your vision) If you are happy then enjoy your happiness and just know that it will happen when it’s suppose to.

In the mean time, Enjoy Self Love, Respect & Honor!

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy love day folks! I wish you the best in love, life and happiness. Do something out of the norm today and express your love to everyone. We all want to be loved! So express it to everyone! Make someone feel special and remind them of how much you care.

Treat yourself to a massage! Break out the fine china, wine, fruit and cheese. The simple things are the best things in life.

Remember love day is every day but today is the day you show twice as much!

Enjoy!

Your next is not your ex

This one is so complex because you’ve been hurt so many times before. It seems as if people never change! I can’t stress how much you really need to heal your open wounds before dating or entering a new relationship. The healing time is slowest phase after a break up. It’s the time you to cling to close friends and family. The time you get yourself back on track with the things you did before you got into a relationship. Get back on track with your short term goals that became long term goals. Do things that make you happy. Try not to focus on the past and work towards your future. There is so much ahead of you, so do not slow down now. Talk to people and be willing to communicate what you are going through. You would be so surprised who how many people are either going through the same thing or been there. Life is about learning. Sometimes you become apart of someone else’s learning lesson but you have to heal to understand. After the healing you learn to get over the past. Forgive that person that hurt you so much. Then you are ready to get back into the dating world and open up to new possibilities. Trust again has never been so easy. Understand that your next is not your ex, he or she could be the next best thing. I believe there is someone for everyone. Just have faith and think about the wonderful possibilities love can bring.

Happy New Year!

I hope you all had a wonderful new year! I wish you all the best in life, love, health and wealth for the new year. Life is precious and not promised. Continue to enjoy the little things and the people around you.

Happy 2011!