Hello New Year! It's 2012!!!!

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

2011 is over... Let's start the year off leaving the past behind. Look for ways to stay positive and press forward.

The Wall, Part 2: Breaking it down

I believe the wall is there to help heal a broken heart. Its there to protect and nourish. It takes a special kind of person to break "the wall" down. When it happens, trust me you will have already forgotten all about it.

The Battle

Sometimes we do things to hurt ourselves and don’t even know it. We build this wall up to protect our feelings when actually all we end up doing it hurting ourselves. Its all trial and error but today I’ve learned my lesson. Sometimes you don’t want to be afraid of getting hurt so bad that you just push people away before anything develops. This way you wont hurt.

Well… TRUTH IS….

Doesn’t matter if you build a brick wall double plastered, sky scraper high, guarded by the best… it can vanish when you least expect. Your heart can open up, making its way to someone else … Now every thought you had to keep yourself sane now becomes a battle between heart & the mind.

A wise man once told me to let the heart be a heart. It does what it does best… it loves and let’s in love.

LOVE and let LOVE.

The Wall Part 1

For the past few years I’ve been protecting my heart, so that it wouldn’t feel that ache anymore.  I’ve been too afraid to open up.  It didn’t matter how perfect a guy could be; I’d manage to push him away. I thought all men wanted the same thing. If that was the case well I would have to want it too. It’s just not as fun if we both don’t want it.  I’m sure you can agree with that. I’ve come to realized that "the wall isn’t so bad." Or if I remind myself daily then eventually I would believe it.  I felt like it’s so much easier to think like a man and give them exactly what I thought they wanted. I’m upfront, open & honest. I don’t get emotionally involved.  Heck that Steve Harvey  book says  “Act like lady, think like a man”… well this is me.  Then one day … I was caught off guard.

Something New

When you first meet someone there's always something that sparks your interest. Of course the first thing you see is physical appearance...eyes, style of clothes, a smirk or even a walk that makes your head tilt a little. What is really refreshing ... (well to me anyway) is conversation. I love knowing that I may have something in common, or being able to share an opinion. Heck even if we can have a good debate! I see more people rushing into sex before they completely get to know a person. Being able to hold a conversation with me is definitely sexy!

Kim Kardashian... REALLY?

I'm still trying to figure out why Kim Kardashian is in my news feed. So what she was married. So what she's filing for divorce. This is not her first or last pubicity stunt. Its not like she plans on donating that money to a local charity or homeless shelter. Why is SHE considered famous again? Oh right, she "starred" in a sex tape with R&B singer Ray J (aka Brandy's brother). Porn stars dont get that much credit. WTF?

Show me REAL NEWS!

Kenya: We will destroy weapons flown into Somalia
Occupy Oakland plans citywide strike
Russia launches progress space freighter
NYSE stocks posting largest volume increases

A Wedding to Remember

On Sunday 10/23 I witnessed the union of one of my closest friends (Tiffanie) and the love of her life (Dante). It was all that you would have expected in a wedding. Tears of joy, lots of laughs, words of wisdom,  things that make the best of times. I've seen lots of  weddings but this was special. The look on the grooms face was priceless. I can't imagine the emotion he was feeling at that time. From the moment Tiffanie walked down that aisle to when their hands embraced. The anticipation of this day was far beyond their belief. Marrying the person of your dreams always seemed to good to be true. In this case, its was definitely true. Not only could you see it, but it was felt throughout the ceremony. The room was filled with love and passion. The last time i felt like this, my son was born. I love a wedding that show the true character of people. I mean those really great qualities that remind  you that are in a room full of great friends that are ready to make great memories. It was an honor to witness and share this wonderful day with Tiffanie & Dante

I can definitely say that this wedding brought out the best in me...
I saw love and instantly fell in love with Love again....

Congratulations Tiffanie & Dante. I wish you both an infinite amount of love, joy and happiness. May your union bless and touch the hearts of others.

No Strings Attached

Lovers or Friends/ Lovers & Friends? To lots guys the perfect relationship is sexual. To lots of women it not only about sex but its emotional. In my opinion this “homie-lover-friend” situation can work. What I can’t tell you is the length of time it can work. That part is actually up to you. Just always remember why you’ve decided this route. Its perfect when you need companionship but not ready to put in all the effort of a relationship. You get all the benefits of a relationship, minus the emotional part, family gatherings, and of course the complications. It’s a mutual understanding between 2 adults. There must be some rules and regulations. Of course you must be upfront and be willing to communicate. Consider a time frame. I doubt you’d want to have this type of relationship forever. Have a plan if one person becomes emotionally involved AND  know how much you can handle emotionally. We all have limits so get to know yours.

This may sound like perfection but Let’s keep it real though, every relationship has its ups & downs.


Other names: Cutty buddy, cut buddy, sex partner, homie lover friend, friends with benefits.

RAIN!!!!

I love the rain for so many reasons. Every thing about rain just screams ROMANCE! It’s a great time to get cozy with your favorite person, play those special rainy day games, and indulge your favorite comfort foods. Imagine cuddling up under a blanket next to your honey while sipping you favorite hot drink while watching the rain fall. Convenient way to sneak in some conversations and enjoy a little Q-T.  So, I know I’m not the only one that buys board games and just store them at the top of the closet? You know the ones we all forget about. (shakes my head) Dust those games off and have some friendly competition of: Scrabble, Monopoly, Jenga, Taboo, Catch phrase and many others to choose from. Not to worry if you don’t have any of these games, just head over to Target, Walmart or Kmart and invest. You never know when they can come in handy. Romance is simple and the possibilities endless. Don’t get discouraged… throw in a few candles... add some flowers… and of course some sweet nothings! Oh yea don’t forget a compliments! We women love to be complimented!

So if you’ved opt out for hot cocoa… make it fondue! Chill a bottle of Moscato D’Asti, cut up some fruit (banana, strawberries, mango, pineapple) even add in a few cubed pieces of Sara Lee’s Pound cake.
Its all romantic! Its all so simple!

Fall is here!

Get your honey and start planning those movie nights. Snuggle under a blanket or get his/her matching snuggies! Drink cups of hot cocoa topped with marshmallows or whipped cream!. I'm totally ready for a change of weather. The leaves turn beautiful shades of browns, yellows and gold. Walks in the park just became so much easier. Especially for those times when you just stop to embrace each other.

Fall temperatures are not too hot and not too cold. It is a reminder that Winter is coming!

IS THIS YOU TOO?

I’d be the first to admit that I’m afraid to fall in love. I’ve been there and I’m so thankful to have been loved and felt loved. I have up a thick ass wall that NO ONE can tear down but myself. Well I’m afraid so what do you actually expect? I try not to get to intimate with guys because I refuse to set myself up for emotional failure. I’ve realized that intimacy controls it all! Intimacy creates a bond between two people. That bond then becomes an emotional attachment. If there is no intimacy then I’ll never get attached. This works out so much better for me. No one has to like it but its really my choice. Most likely I’ll never get married (which is probably the reason I prefer to plan weddings). I like to be as realistic as possible with myself. I don’t have expectation of guys because that’s when people start to let you down. When your vision is blurred by love you tend to have unrealistic expectations of love and your partner. I have yet to understand why this happens but it happens EVERYDAY! Lack of communication can send your relationship issues OVERBOARD!

But who am I kidding? I can create a huge wall and pretend I’m the toughest person around. That doesn’t mean someone won’t come along and this imaginary wall (that I led myself to believe in) will have been long forgotten. Truth is I’m no different from everyone else that wants love and to feel loved. I have not given up on love and you shouldn’t either. This can be such a trial and error situation… Learn from your past mistakes. Makes change the necessary … whether is about you, your expectations or the characteristic you are looking for in a mate. Don’t be afraid to love. Try to open your heart to new possibilities. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on what can be the best thing ever.

Healing time

You need it! Just like any physical wound, you must give it time to heal. So what happens during this healing time? Everything! You love learn to love yourself more. Think about how you’ve changed in your past relationship. Just face it… we all change a little bit. Even if we don’t notice. Yourself time to heal. Don’t rush in to another relationship if you have not healed form the past. Its best to give yourself time to reprioritize, gather your goals you may forgotten about and get back on track with life as you know it. Keep friends and family around. Go out and have fun!

a title or his time

This question pops up often. I still have yet to figure out why so many things go wrong when a woman wants that title. (Babe, Boo thang, Girlfriend, Wifey) The deal is that we are so blinded because we want a title. What does the title really mean? What does it mean to you?

I have a number 1 guy in my life. He is not my boyfriend, but a man that I would do anything for. The time we spend together is more important than how much time we spent together. When I realized that I loved this man, it drove me crazy. (We women go crazy on the wrong things!). I wanted to let him know how I felt. Then I was hoping that he is feeling the same. Maybe we could get together or get serious. Then I thought we are both in different places in our lives. His friendship means more to me than anything else. I don’t need a title. So, why I am going crazy again?

Here is the deal. I thought back on the time shared, endless conversation, all the laughter, intimate moments (not sex YOU PERVS!) and then of course I smiled. So then I realized that made me happy. What we have is good enough for me right now. Yes, I have questioned his feelings before. (Something else to drive a woman crazy) Looking back I realized that it's not necessary. Actions speak louder than words. Going back, I thought about his actions, I realized that he honestly loves/ cares for me. Of course he knows how I feel about him. (Knowing me... how could he not know?) WOMEN!

So here I go... why do I need a title? I don't. For some reason a title tends to add more pressure than necessary. I know we all want to be loved or maybe you just want to be "in the know". Maybe you are fooled by the people who pretend to be happy and post pictures all over MySpace, Facebook, Twitter. LOL. (Who doesn’t want the world to know they are happy, RIGHT?) When it is truly love... you will just know. You know when the other person is special. If your connection with a person isn't that strong or maybe you're just blinded by your friend asking when will it become "OFFICIAL" (Note to self: some friends are so miserable that question you to prove they are better. NOT YOUR FRIENDS) you just might be his #1 girl and your friends should not worry about it if you are happy. So, this guy & I are not in a place where we are ready for a relationship. Don't get me wrong I love him and would probably say yes if he proposed RIGHT NOW. Not the plan though. I love and respect him enough to accept his choices in life. The deal is love takes time and there are other things I need to focus on. I just need his love and support and in return he will get mine.

To my Ladies who are searching for a title. Go back to the time shared not the amount of time spent. Make sure the guy you with isn't just a sex partner that you occasionally go out with. (Lust can definitely cloud your vision) If you are happy then enjoy your happiness and just know that it will happen when it’s suppose to.

In the mean time, Enjoy Self Love, Respect & Honor!

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy love day folks! I wish you the best in love, life and happiness. Do something out of the norm today and express your love to everyone. We all want to be loved! So express it to everyone! Make someone feel special and remind them of how much you care.

Treat yourself to a massage! Break out the fine china, wine, fruit and cheese. The simple things are the best things in life.

Remember love day is every day but today is the day you show twice as much!

Enjoy!

Your next is not your ex

This one is so complex because you’ve been hurt so many times before. It seems as if people never change! I can’t stress how much you really need to heal your open wounds before dating or entering a new relationship. The healing time is slowest phase after a break up. It’s the time you to cling to close friends and family. The time you get yourself back on track with the things you did before you got into a relationship. Get back on track with your short term goals that became long term goals. Do things that make you happy. Try not to focus on the past and work towards your future. There is so much ahead of you, so do not slow down now. Talk to people and be willing to communicate what you are going through. You would be so surprised who how many people are either going through the same thing or been there. Life is about learning. Sometimes you become apart of someone else’s learning lesson but you have to heal to understand. After the healing you learn to get over the past. Forgive that person that hurt you so much. Then you are ready to get back into the dating world and open up to new possibilities. Trust again has never been so easy. Understand that your next is not your ex, he or she could be the next best thing. I believe there is someone for everyone. Just have faith and think about the wonderful possibilities love can bring.

Happy New Year!

I hope you all had a wonderful new year! I wish you all the best in life, love, health and wealth for the new year. Life is precious and not promised. Continue to enjoy the little things and the people around you.

Happy 2011!