Adieu 2015

So here we are. The last week of  the year 2015. Each year you can only hope to become a better version of yourself.  Checking off goals accomplished, enjoyed life a little more, create memories you hope to share, make new friends or just learn to be present in life. Even if you've made it through the year feeling stagnant, you should be planning to create some sort of forward movement. 

This year I've learned to not only take chances but accept the learning opportunities that may follow. Some call those mistakes. I prefer to call them opportunities for improvement. Let's try to keep things more positive here.  I've opened myself to love, opened an online stores, started new hobbies. I wont be going into detail about these but I can say I've had success and of course opened my eyes to opportunities for improvement. Through it all, I can say that I am grateful for where I am today. I am blessed to have made it through the year 2015, but I know that great things will happen. 

Dear 2015, 

Thank you for life, change and new possibilities. I am grateful that I was allowed to be in your presence. You've taught me things about myself to help guide me into someone better. For you I am ever so grateful.  Please put in a good word for me in 2016 and years go come. Here's to higher consciousness, living an abundant life, being prosperous and paying it forward.

- Me.

Tame the tongue

I have learned that saying hurtful  things to shut someone up will only make an argument worse. You may be the stronger (physically) person but emotionally it shows weakness. Walking away may not solve your problems but it's the best thing to do at the moment.
We shouldn't want to be the person who is right all the time. You never have to like or agree with everything said. We are human and make mistakes. We also have feeling. Whether you decide to play the tough roll or not.
With that being said... Apologizing is a start. Learning to accept your mistakes is another.
Never say anything hurtful in an argument because you are angry. You can lose important people in your life.
#lifeslesson

Remembering: Kisses

I remember when people talked about kissing. How long it happened or how soft and subtle...
If they were gentle and passionate.

Wet kisses
Dry kisses
Soft kisses
Neck kisses
Shoulder kisses
Collar bone kisses
Forehead kisses
Nose kisses
Sweet kisses

Kisses that end with a nibble.
Kisses that end with a nose rub.
(Eskimo kisses).

Stop and experience the kisses.

"Besarte es como ver las estrellas."🌟🌟🌟💫💫💫

A Letter to Love: Humbled & Grateful

I thought I knew you before.
I thought I knew all that you were about.

But this time around feels different.

I’m completely humbled by your presence.

You've been keeping me grounded.

The peace you bring is assuring of your presence.  

You’ve caught me at a point where I felt I was undeserving.
You've lift me up and wrapping me in your warm embrace.

Love you have seriously showed up and made me stronger.

Each day I just keep getting better.
Each day you just keep proving to be something beyond my belief.

Your strength, your heart and selflessness keeps me grateful of your existence.

I thought I knew you before. I really thought I knew it all. 

I was even angry because I believed those impostors to be you.

Today I know there is nothing greater than you.

Love, thank you for loving me like you do.

Me.

Get it together!

How long before you really know what you want? You may be able to pin point qualities in a person... but do you know what you really want? Do you have a general understanding? What about ideal situation?

Write it down.
be specific
be understanding

Also keep in mind what you plan to bring to the table.

Are you willing to reciprocate? What are your deal breakers?

Get it together.

happy writing people!

#loveandlight

Grateful

Often I think back my past. How past hurt/ mold me into who I am today. I can tell you that I've gone from not wanting to love, to fighting anything that leads to love. I was completely emotionally detached. I didn't welcome intimacy into my world. I realized that my world was broken. I was hiding. The more I tried to hide from love and affection, it managed to always tap on my door. The less interested I was in dating and relationships, men would come into my life ready for everything that I was against. Eventually I would open up to intimacy but I would run from my feelings. I get that we're creatures of habit. Breaking through these walls has been a major task even the jaws of life would have needed a friend.  Love and intimacy were so to foreign to me that I would stop all communication with someone, give that person space, until they'd no longer be interested in me. I repeated this process several times. Even hurting some down the line.

I've attempted a few relationship when I thought I was ready. You know how it is... 

you update your status on Facebook, add those status updates about "him", he chimes in on your status, people wonder if its true, all of a sudden you're in the spot light, everything is cute or sweet or even looks wonderful, then you start to post pictures of you two together... all for what? 

The idea of having what you think you want feels good. Being able to show the world that someone loves you feels good. Showing off a little tends to make you feel special.  My friend let me tell you that this time of social validation means nothing. This is all temporary. What you're truly doing is trying to fill a void. I'm not saying that all relationships on Facebook are seeking validation. Its just means that nothing is perfect no matter how you see it. The only people who know are the ones involved in the relationship. 

Truth is... love is patient, its Kind, It doesn't brag or boast.  

It humbles your heart and it appreciates. It puts you in a grateful state of mind and peace. 

When you find love you wont seek validation.

Trying

Ladies have you ever had a man just take your breathe away by his actions? I've tried a couple times at this relationship stuff... I think I've spent more time forcing something to work than just sitting back to let it happen. Not to say that I'm a fixer but I do want the best for people... that's just who I am. I'm a down for you no matter where you are in your life- type chick!  All that matters is that you're a good person. I know "good person" is pretty vague but having good intentions and follow through with those intentions. I've never been one to pick a man because of his financial status. That's not me.

Any way lets get back to the man taking my breathe away. That man that reminds me that Eventhiugh I love to cater to my man, my man can cater to my needs as well. 

Oh honey this is just the beginning. Will I make this work or has my emotions Fooled me again?

Either way. I'm trying. 

Always Learning

We all go through so much. Learning from our mistakes seems to be the hardest part these days. 

Sometimes I wonder if we ever truly learn.

 

Let's face it...  we point the finger, we get angry when we think of certain things, we say things that make us feel as though we've done nothing wrong and sometimes we want to be the victim. 

Truth is, none of those things are right. You can only learn when you analyze the situation and begin to wonder what you could have done differently.

 It about making sure you've done the best you can with your situation. 

We're not perfect but trust we are perfect for someone. 

Acknowledged and learned

When your heart submits to the right person everything else aligns perfectly.

in that moment I've learned...

Lust distorts your thoughts but love keeps you on track.

Pay attention to the signs.

#loveandlight

See the Beauty

Stop to see all the beauty in life. I've realized that perfection is like beauty. In the eye of the beholder. We've all set our own standards. Some of us have met or exceeded our expectations and others are still working towards the goal. Someone of us have learned from our mistakes while others struggle to comprehend.
If we fail to learn from our mistakes then we fail to see the all beauty in life.

This morning I ask that you see beauty in everything...
Uneven pavement, nature, friends, family and love.

Let it go!

Releasing all that hinders your growth is important. To often we allow negative emotions to control our actions. Nothing positive ever came from holding on to hurt. We have to forgive and let go. Forgiveness is when you accept a situation and not let it control you.

It's not about being the bigger person but being the person in control of their happiness.

Today choose happiness!

Wake Up Call

Sometimes you gotta wake up. Pay attention to those that give you their time. 

I hear women say it all the time. This guy is doing too much. It's too soon. He might be just like the rest. There is no fear in love.

There is no time frame for love.
If man is giving his time, patience, understanding and will... Give him a chance or let him go.

Just stop giving your night time to man that won't enjoy your day time.

The Sprint Network

Dear sprint

I know that I can't be the only unhappy customer you have. In December of 2014 I decided to get my child a phone for Christmas. I decided to go with sprint because they phone was free. The gentleman in the sprint store was rude. That should have been the moment I realized that I should have walked away. That's not my main issue.

I've have Sprint service for about 7 months and can I tell you that I've called 4 times to make changes on a bill that increases in surcharges every time! 

Why do I have to wait until the end of billing cycle to make changes?

That's one question.

Next question is why is there a surcharge for a data plan when I'm already paying for unlimited talk, text, data? 

When has it become ok to accept these surcharges ... I'm

Canceling my service. 

Sprint you have completely pissed me off. I have had the worst experience in the last 7 months.

Thanks for being a corporate thief! 

Taking Chances

Hello there!

I wanted to tell you about last night's conversation with a friend of mine. We were discussing wants and needs when it comes to relationships/dating. As a frustrated woman, who is looking for a potential husband in the dating world, I've realized a few things.

1. We don't always make our intentions clear 
2. Not always being clear about what we are looking for in another person
3. Not cutting ties before we've fallen

Easier said than done. Trust me I know it. I've always found it amusing how the simplest things seem so hard to do. I get that you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but you will be respected more for the truth. 

Make your intentions clear. Let's face it. Going with the flow feels good. Sometime people just want to have fun. Having fun can create expectations. Don't look at me sideways now. We (women) get all excited over a few dates assuming the man is ready to propose his life way. It's not always like that. 

What happens if this man isn't exactly what you were looking for in the beginning? That means you weren't clear to yourself about the type of person you are looking for... This creates tension. You've already assumed he was it. You know.. "The one". 

When you finally wake up and realize that he isn't the "the one" don't be afraid to let it go... The moment you realize that some is all wrong for you is the very moment things go bad. You stop caring, start making other plans, lack if consideration. ... Trust I can go on. 

Do yourself a favor. Know what you want. Make it clear. Be vulnerable. Take some chances. 

Open mind

The same defense mechanism we use to protect our ourselves could be the same reason we are hurt.

Step outside of your comfort zone. 

Be open and free to all that comes your way. 

Be vulnerable. 

A letter to love: IMY

Dear love,

After all these years I still love you the same. To some extent I'd say I'm waiting for you to finally reciprocate. I am freely open to you and all the possibilities.

You've showed me so many things about myself that I needed to know.

Love I need you to want me back. I miss that feeling I have when you play in my hair. I miss the heat that radiates from your body. Laying my head on your chest as I listen to your heartbeat.

Love I remember how you'd gaze into my eye and tell me how beautiful I am. I miss the feeling that takes over me with each embrace.

Love you are the truth. I'm grateful for the times you've come into my life.

I'm ready for you to stay.

Signed

My heart

Ariana Chiquita opps Grande

What is the world is going on with Ariana Grande these days? I really like ... but the nonsense must stop!

How can you hate Americans and live in their country? That's like a pornstar that hates porn.
Ariana I apologize for all the people that spat in your food, but dont spit in mine!

I dont want your germs! get your life together. Get out of the lime light if you dont want to be a role mode.

The apology was great but actions speak louder than words

signed,
concerned about the youth

Taking your time

I was told that I don't give guys a chance. What people don't understand is that I'm not going to jump into a situation with someone who is thinking about it. You must actually get to know someone before you can decide if you want to be with them. You don't just jump and do it.  Get to know someone with an open heart. Be vulnerable. Like they say... easy come easy go. By the time a person truly lets their guard down, fire their representative and show their true self, you're ready to let go. Had you given the time needed to grow you'd be holding on. Even after the bad time. You would sweat the small things but you'd be too busy floating with what is more important.

Give people time. Get to know someone before you make your decision. 

Be open & willing, make memories, enjoy the the most precious part of life. 

July!

Happy First day of the second half of the year!  Can I say that this year has been one hell of a roller coaster. I've learned quite a few things.

I've learned to open up and do things out of my comfort zone. Let me tell you now that there was nothing easy about it. Trust me when I say that I fought it at first...

I've learned to think before I act. This is an uneasy task when for someone that just goes with the flow. As a responsible adult we're supposed to make better choices in life. Well that's my goal. Better choices.


Let's just say that I'm grateful for it all.


#loveandlight

Single and asking for too much

Is it wrong to want a relationship? One that's not perfect. Something from the heart...

Guys want to have sex but they don't want to commit...

What Is happening these days?

Can we build and grow together? Is that even possible these days?

I'm starting to feel like is too much to ask. 

Let's buy a home together.

Let's invest together.

Let's go on vacations with friends and family.

What happened to real families? 

Being single in the shallow big city sucks!

Karma

Dear Karma

When does it end?

Sign

A better person

Dear love: it hurts

I can only hope this days make you happier than you've ever been.

My heart is feeling as though I lost my best friend.

All the jokes

All the laughs

And the warmth from each embrace

My dear love

I'm going to miss you so

This Time I've had you 

And didn't want to let you go

I felt like you knew me better this time around

Hold me tighter and longer

Because you hate when I frown 

My dear love 

It hurts more than you'd ever know

Parting is filled with so much sorrow

Alone

Hey world

Every feel lonely? So many people around but nothing that fills the void or closeness. Sometimes I feel like i'm walking through a crowd, alone.  I feel like I'd be much better if I fall off the grid.

Its a big cruel world out there ...

but it makes you tough. 

Gift...Curse

What's your most favorite thing?

My heart

What's your least favorite thing?

My heart

The heart is such a gift.

Wen you give it to the wrong person, it feels like a curse. 

Healing: Its a process

I remember never liking the scab on my wounds. I would pick and peel the scab hoping it would help heal faster. Granted the scab is there to prevent infection. Its there to help the wound heal. I remember wounds would itch around the edges. I would try to scratch around it trying my hardest to stay outside the wound. That never worked.

Physical and emotional wounds are the same. You have to give it time to heal. You can't pick at it, in hopes of change. I get it we all want what we want. Some of us are impatient.  Hell I get that way too!

You have to let time do its duty. Have a little patience and ride your emotions out like an adult. I always tell my son to take his tire and have patience. Even as an adult we need to conscious of our emotions.

Scabs are there to protect the wound and prevent scarring.

Time is your scab. Make peace with it. Let your wounds heal. Time is actually on your side when it come to the healing process.

Make peace with yourself and trust the process.

‪#‎loveandlight‬

Dear love: I'm sorry

Dear love,

Each day without you makes me miss you more. I'm grateful for our quick meet ups but I think I'm ready to keep you. I really hope you're ready to keep me too. I know that last time you came into my life, I wasn't ready. You really showed me what I missing when you left. Oh Love you've taught me a lesson. I know how much you deserve to be appreciated.

You showed me that I needed to love me first. Without self love I wouldn't not be able to keep up your needs.

Each encounter I've had with you taught me how to be a better person. My love I am unselfish for you. I am floating each moment I bask in your presence.

So much I'd give just to see you again.
Just to feel you again.
To show you how you've helped me for the better

Oh love... let me be your fool.

If you please... give me
one more chance...

to LOVE.

My thoughts: I see said the blind.

I miss text messages that make me smile.

Something that says I'm thinking of you. 

I remember waking up to thoughtful sentiments in my inbox.

Every morning.

Good morning beautiful 

Good morning gorgeous 

Good morning Ms. wonderful 

Have a wonderful day my love

Jut random thoughtful sentiments that warmed my heart.

I mean how hard can it be to take some time out of your day to speak to the people you love? Specially when you don't see them every day. Maybe it's just me?

Maybe I'm the type that need occasionally terms of endearment. 

Why do we hold back on those we love but...

It's like we go where we are needed but not where we are cherished.

Break the chain. Love the people who love you back. Stop chasing after those who run. 

Actions vs. Intentions

Sometimes we have a desire for things were arent ready for. I want lots of things. We all do. Truth is you need to be in tuned with yourself to understand. You must pay attention to your actions. Are you doing exactly what you say you will do? If  not, do you understand your actions? 

If you're saying one thing and doing another, acknowledge it. We're not perfect yanno.

It's part of being credible.

Situationship: Hanging on

I've realized that we are situationships because we are comfortable.

 Face it... its hard enough to connect with someone. No one want to go through meeting someone new. Learning their issues and deciding if you really want to deal with them. The honey moon phase will make you rush into what may seem like a good thing. 

Sometimes its only good when we're together. 

I've been strung along before. I mean I've been in love before... with someone that didn't love me as much. In fact his heart belong to someone else.   Together it felt great. Although I couldn't fill his void. He was everything... he listen, he cared, he cooked and most importantly he made time. Then I realized that time was only at night. Not to say every night was about sex (that was not the case). It was a situation where we made time to give each other affection when we both were in need. There was no label... just love.

These moments are special.. but eventually you need more about of a situation. 

Thank God for enlightenment. 

Eventually we have to let go. For sanity's sake.

As a person. You deserved to be loved. Especially from those you love. It should be unconditional. It is meant to be reciprocated.

Which is why you shouldn't lead people into thinking that you may consider being with them.
True unconditional love is about making sure your loved ones are happy. Even if its not with you. 
Its not fair to them because of your selfishness.

Sex: Are you ready?

Sex changes the dynamics of a relationship. If you move too fast into sex then it can extent the honey moon phase. Sex is emotional. You really need to know if you're ready to share your body with someone. Its too often that people seek sex to replace void in their life.
Let's face it... it makes us feel good. Well duh! It helps our bodies produce endorphins. Which can also be produce by exercising. I'ts no wonder why active people are always happy. #teamfit is a way to happiness.

Think twice about sexual intercourse. Make sure you're both ready.

Valentine's Day: Thoughts

Valentine's day coming up and I know y'all plan on getting kinky...

So lets keep it smiple.

Ladies pay attention to your man!
Fellas pay attention to your woman!

Easy right? 

Married people don't wait until valentines day!
You married the love of your life. Lots of people wait all their life to do that!

Self: Acknowledgement & Healing

I'm always promoting SELF! I mean so much comes with the self. There is self love, self healing, self promotion but mainly self love. I'm always learning about myself. I was in an abusive relationship. I haven't been able to actually open up to a relationship for many reason. I've realized that the one of the things keeping me away from a relationship, just so happens to be a defense mechanism from past hurt. I've learned that I shut down in the middle of arguments. I shy away from small disagreements because I don't want it to turn into a physical altercation. Truth is... adults debate everyday. I just so happened to have been in fear for so long that I would have never noticed that I am still in fear today. I'm writing this in tears because its.... well... truth hurts. I used to think that I'm a runner. I can run from situations but isn't that the same as shying away?  I'm trying to get to the root of the situation. I want to be that person who can communicate. If you know ME then you know I remind people to communicate their feelings. That's a little hypocritical of me.

I thought I was over it... but as they say: "Actions speak louder than words".  I know I am not perfect. Is it wrong to just want a happy healthy relationship? How do you get to that point and need so much healing?

How do you tell your partner. " Hey I was in an abusive relationship so  you can't act that way"?  You don't... the intentions are just not the same. You can only hope that person is loving and caring enough to understand and help you work on changing for the better. I'm ready to change. I've opened my heart. That's a start right?

No fear in 2015. Personal grown is a necessity to becoming a better person. 

Change: It's possible

The problem with change is that its comfortable to continue with previous patterns (ways of life). It's always easy continue with your norm but you must be willing to step out the box and the explore new possibilities.

Pay attention to your actions.
Be honest with yourself.
When you realize that you are reverting back... FIX IT!
Change is possible.
‪#‎loveandlight‬

Thinking out loud: The heart

The heart is a terrible thing to play it. The older I get the more I realized all the things my heart desires. The more I feed into physical desires the more I am hurt.

Never fear, there will always be something to learn during this process.

This is me thinking out loud.

Selena Gomez: The Heart Wants What it Wants

Making Space for the New

It's the second week of 2015. It's been such a busy week. I don't know about you but my Christmas tree is still up! I've finally taken off the lights and ornaments. If you haven't cleaned house well let this weekend be the time to get it done. Label your piles with donate and trash. This time remember to toss and donate these items. I have the tendency to just put stuff back because I'm either too busy or just too lazy. However, in 2015, I am choosing to NOT become a hoarder. 

Let's face it... We all have baggage. How we handle our baggage will determine space available for new experiences. Oh you thought I meant "clean house" in the literal sense? Well unless you have OCD, because... Well... Then that's another subject. 

You will only have one mental pile. Accept and let go. 

Goodbye fooled heart

I gave it all for love last year but nothing ever came from it. I found myself in an empty space giving. Don't get me wrong, Love is about giving. Everything I gave was returned but nothing grew from it. I realize why so many women are easily hurt. We focused on the feeling we wanted and not whole situation.

A man can make you feel like he loves you. He can hold your hand, tell you that you're beautiful and make you feel on top of the world. He can even tell you that he loves you back but you may not be what he wants. And we stick around ladies because the temporary cloud nine feeling feels good. That's great and all but what about reciprocation? It feels like he loves you back... But is that enough? No but we settle for being high in the clouds.

Here we are January 2, 2015. Two days into the new year. You have the option to keep settling or open your heart to something real. Remove yourself from your comfort zone. 

Open up to new experiences. The new year is the time to be ready for all that you've been hoping. 

Love is waiting but not while you're still doing the same old things. 

C'est la vie 2014

2014 is officially a memory. 

Happy New Year my friends! It's 2015! 10 years ago I had plan for my life to be different from now. You... Married, with a couple children. Visiting  2-3 counties a year. Showing my children life abroad. Let's just I have one handsome son and travel plans have just surfaced my horizon. 

For me 2014 was another year of learning to appreciate the little things in life. That's exactly what we should do in life, right? 

The started with a relationship and it all faded away by the end of the first quarter. The more we discussed our relationship, the more distant we became. 

I learned that sometimes people have issues within theirselves and tend to take it out on others.   Friends are friends no matter what but when people walk out of your life, let them go. As long as you know that you did your best to be a good friend. Nothing else matters.

Developed a close friendship and sisterhood. We meet great people often but only so of those people will have the same experiences as you. Those experiences created a bond. I am so grateful. 

I took on a second job and started working 7 days a week. I learned that it doesn't matter how much money you make. If you're not making memories you are not loving life.

Started  a class and completed. If you're one of those people who has a hard time completing anything you've started then understand why this is here. 

The loss of a great friend and great memories to hold of him. Loss is never easy but easy year we should to make memories with our loved ones. Those memories will help keep us whole when our hearts are in need.

One of my older sisters found love and married him. Just when I thought the family was cursed and marriage was impossible. (Blog of this soon to come! With pics of course!)

Learning how to coparent. Hey I'm still learning. That's really all I can say.

Overall it was a great year. 

Toodles 2014. It was a rollercoaster I'll never forget!